6/23/15 Katie's Healthy Eating Journal: Thursday

by Katie (Jenny Craig 2009 Poster Girl) 23. June 2014 19:28

In college I had ballooned up to 191 pounds; which is very large for a girl who's only 5'3".  It just kept spiraling out of control and there wasn't enough exercise in the world that could seem to stop it.  My doctor was very concerned and her bright idea was to try liposuction.  I was horribly embarrassed about the weight and for whatever reason it made me feel good to say I was in a size 14, not 16.  Size 12 and 14 appear to be average for women in the United States but for being such a short person this looked extremely heavy on me.  I did cut the tags out of all my clothes so my husband and friends didn't see know what size I was.  But, the most irrational thing about it was that I would buy smaller clothes even if they squeezed every fat roll out just to say that I was the smaller size.  In short, my clothes looked awful on me.  I refused to believe I was truly the size I was (I think 16 but not really sure because I maybe only bought a couple things in this size!).  I was in total denial.  My Mom wanted to kindly guide me in the direction of clothes that looked more flattering on my body.  She never said a word she just decided to take me to this new store with very trendy clothing:  Lane Bryant.  She bought a lot of stuff for me that day including a new coat.  I had NO idea it was for Plus size ladies.  If I had, I'm sure I never would've set food in there.  I went back to college so proud of my new coat.  A weeks later I was at my friend's house for a party and our regular crowd of guys and girls were there.  Next thing I knew one of my guy friends was being silly and had on my coat.  He meant no offense at all but the girl he had brought said, "Oh my gosh, how in the world do you fit in a girl's coat?!"  To which he very innocently took it off and continued with a game they were playing.  His girl friend inspected the coat more closely and said, "No wonder you can fit in a girl's coat!  This is from that new store, you know, Lane Bryant...for big girls."  I was in the hallway listening to every word dying with embarrassment.  I immediately trashed that new coat and went home balling my eyes out.  

I don't tell these stories to make you feel sorry for me or because I keep wanting to relive every "fat girl" comment I received growing up; I write them to let you know that I wasn't always 120 something pounds.  I'm a real person with real problems.  I think from the time I was 8 years old to when I was 24 I have struggled with my weight...and probably will emotionally the rest of my life.  What I try to do now is be open and honest with my feelings so I don't head down that dangerous road of an eating disorder again.  Good luck to you and as always I welcome your questions and comments!

Breakfast -

JC Cinnamon French Toast with 1/4 cup sugar-free syrup

Banana

1 cup coffee with 2 tbsp. fat-free creamer

Snack -

JC Anytime Bar

Lunch -

JC Meatball Stuffed Sandwich

Carrots

Snack -

Banana

Dinner -

JC Mac & Cheese

Salad - mixed greens, tomatoes, 2 tbsp. light ranch

Snack -

JC Triple Chocolate Cheesecake

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Katie's Healthy Eating

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