by Katie (Jenny Craig 2009 Poster Girl)
12. February 2014 19:47
Sometimes I have flashbacks to the days when I battled bulemia. They will just randomly pop in my head and a pang of saddness will come over me. I felt so alone and angry with my body during college. Years of being teased had piled up until I felt helpless. Working out twice a day and months of diet pills were making me crazy. My most frequent flashback is to living in the dorms. It was just so easy to purge my food. I would not eat all day and then for a "mid-day meal" I would eat an apple and a few pretzels dipped in Tostito's Cheese Dip. What an odd meal, I don't know how I could've thought this was good for me. My goal would be to not eat at all but I could never make it that long. I would be so mad at myself for breaking down that I would quietly slip out of my dorm room (I lived with three other girls and my boyfriend was always over) and go into the bathroom which was huge. I would conveniently wait until no one was in there and start throwing up. The minute someone walked in I would stop, wait for them to leave, and continue again. It became a total addiction. Everything I ate I wanted to get rid of. I kept thinking how easy it was to hide from everyone - being away at college. Sometimes those feelings come back of wanting to get rid of whatever I may have "cheated' with and the only thing that stops me is a husband and parents that would be furious with me. I love them so much I wouldn't want to hurt them. The temptation is definitely there but I fight to brush it out of my thoughts. I am so thankful for finding a healthy program that works and helps me "stay in control" of my body. I'm not sure what would've become of me if JC hadn't worked. I had felt so desperate and angry when everything I tried wasn't working and doctors were stumped as to how to help me. I still wonder what is wrong with my metabolism but at least portion control coupled with low-fat, sugar, and sodium has worked for me.
SATURDAY
Breakfast -
JC Blueberry Pancakes and Sausage with 1/4 cup sugar-free syrup
Banana
1 cup fat-free organic milk
Snack -
JC Vanilla Crisp Anytime Bar
Lunch -
JC Beef and Barley Stew
Cauliflower
Snack -
Tangelo
Dinner -
JC Meatloaf and potatoes
Salad with peppers and mushrooms 2 tbsp light ranch
Snack -
JC S'mores bar
Subscribe